Lyla has fallen asleep in the car after doing the shopping, she was so tired I actually thought she was going to fall asleep in the GoTo seat in the shopping trolley!
There’s no point in even attempting to drive home and transfer her to her cot. She’s at that age where she needs an hour long sleep but if she wakes after 15 minutes then she’s ready to party again followed by the inevitable tears and tantrums for the afternoon. So I’ve got used to pulling the car over, enjoying the view and chilling out while Lyla snores in the back. Yes there are loads of things I could do at home if she was sleeping there but then I wouldn’t be writing this in the sunshine, watching a sea plane take off over the bay. I’ve learnt to have a wee survival pack in the car, a drink, a book, a notepad and a pen and so I sit. I don’t get much time like this usually so its good to be forced to relax and be still, especially when I have a view like this.
Going with the flow is a big learning curve for me. I’m a typical Virgo, I like to plan, organise and know what’s coming next. I know it’s a control thing so you can only imagine how I struggled with this when kids came along. Actually B was pretty good, he was my self raising child, he slept, ate, toilet trained and loved a schedule – definitely my son! Lyla, well lets just say she’s a different being altogether.
I fought against going with the flow for a long time even after she was diagnosed and I knew there was no point in fighting it but I still wanted to hang onto some shred of control. It probably took 2 years for me to let go, stopping paid work was a big part of surrendering. Now that my only focus is Lyla and B it’s easier not to worry about ‘having’ to do other things which always meant Lyla was not my top priority, she’s shown me its ok if we are late somewhere, its ok if we don’t get to the shops today, beans and toast is ok for dinner, its ok if she doesn’t have a bath at the same time every night, or at all some nights. The world doesn’t end because she falls asleep in the car, in fact most days it makes my world better.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have a magazine to read and a blue sky to gaze at…shhhh lets hope she sleeps a bit longer.